Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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