by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
