Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
