he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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