I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
