I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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