Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Enjoy the penises
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
