found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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