wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
