just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
