omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
