We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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