The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
honey bunches of taint.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
