these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
