oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
