I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
