legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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