There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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