I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
