If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
