im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
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