From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
