Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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