The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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