im drinking this country out of the recession.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
