Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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