She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
