Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
