Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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