how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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