Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
