last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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