So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Alive.
So much puke
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
