I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
