New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
