I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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