I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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