used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
