were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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