im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
