the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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