i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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