tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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