I heard we made out
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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