Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
