i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
