he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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