Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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