Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
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