Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
