fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
You pole danced in your parka.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
