do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
