Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
